( Inside the juice bar.....)

Five teens sit at a table in a juice bar owned by a fat man named Ernie. Ernie is eating and belching, and the teens are sipping sodas. They are: Jason, Zack, Kimberly, Trini, and Billy.

Jason is wearing a red T-shirt and red denim jeans. Zack is wearing a black T-shirt under a black vest, and he is wearing black denim jeans. Kimberly has on a pink T-shirt under a denim vest with pink shorts. Trini is wearing a yellow T-shirt with yellow denim jeans. Billy is wearing a blue and white striped T-shirt under his Osh Gosh B’gosh over-alls.

Jason: I’m tired of all this home work Mrs. Applebee gave us! I should be out lifting weights, or ... somethin’.

Zack(who’s eating a refrigerator sized bowl of popcorn): Yeah... Homework is for losers... Let’s make Billy do it.

Everyone hands their homework to Billy.

Billy: Wow! You like me! You REALLY like me!

Jason: Shut up!

Trini: Yeah, even though I feel pretty bad about it, we’re just using you!

Kimberly: Like, yeah!

Zack throws popcorn at her

Kimberly: Like,.... Like, ow!

All of a sudden there is a 9.9 magnitude earthquake.

All of the extras and so forth pour out into the streets, screaming wildly.

Kimberly( falls to the ground, and flops around helplessly): Like, help!

Bill and Trini fall next, screaming and holding each other for dear life. Jason and Zack are the only two left standing. They act as if nothing’s happening.

Zack: Some weather we’re a’ havin’.

Jason: Yep.

The 5 teens are in engulfed in a beam of color, (the same color they’re wearing), and are teleported away. The beams go into this funky building, and the teens smack into the ground. Everyone gets up slowly, and looks around.

Zack: Where are we?

Kimberly: Like, my head!

(Trini starts looking around)

Trini : Guys! It’s-

Billy: It’s a -

Zack: It’s a floating-

Jason: It’s a floating.. HEAD!!

Kimberly: Like, EWWW! Gross!

(The floating head turns toward them)

Zordon: GREETINGS. MY NAME IS ZORDON! I HAVE CHOSEN YOU FOR A GREAT HONOR AND PRIVALAGE! YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONES.....

Jason: What? You got sum explainin’ ta do. I’m a jock with an I.Q. of 22, but I have big muscles and I’ll trash this place, and kick your butt if you don’t talk!

Billy: Um... Yeah! Me too!

All: Shut up, nerd!

Billy: Sorry....

Zordon: ALPHA GIVE THEM THEIR MORPHERS.

A little robot with two beady red eyes walks over to them and hands them some morphers.

Alpha: Here’s one for you.... and you.... oh! and you.... here ya go...and..... you.

Zack snatches his morpher from Alpha, nearly ripping off Alpha’s hand.

Alpha (rolls around on the ground screaming): AYE YI YI YI YI!

Kimberly: Like, what are these?

Zordon: COME CLOSER.

The 5 walk on top of Alpha to a little platform.

Trini: What’s up with the robot?

Zordon: PAY NO ATTENTION TO ALPHA 5. I FOUND HIM PICKING THROUGH MY TRASH ABOUT 1,000 YEARS AGO, AND MADE HIM MY SLAVE- ER.. HELPER.

Zack: Man, stop yellin’!

Zordon: I CANNOT HELP THAT.

Billy’s been looking at the computers the whole time.

Billy: WoW! A Mega- Ultra - Processor 2000!

Zack: These are my friends- well except for -... HEY, nerd! What’s your name again?

Billy: The name’s William, but my friends call me Billy.

Zack: -That’s WILLIAM he does our homework.

Billy: I said my friends call me BILLY!

Zack: Sorry, William.

Kimberly: As I was saying, Goron, what are these?

Zordon: THE NAME’S ZORDON, AND THOSE ARE YOUR MORPHERS!

Jason: Yeah, so?

Zordon: THEY GIVE YOU MAGICAL POWERS.

Trini: And?

Zordon: THEY WILL ENABLE YOU TO SAVE THE WORLD.

Kimberly: So... What’s the point?

Zordon: YOU’LL FEEL REAL PROUD OF YOURSELF,OK?

Kimberly: I still don’t see the point....

Zordon: ANYWAY(Glares at them), JASON, STRONG, AND ARROGANT, YOU WILL COMMAND THE TYRANNOSARUS.

Jason: COOL!

Zordon: UM... YEAH. ZACHERY, POPULAR AND UNABLE TO DANCE YOU WILL COMMAND THE MASTEDON.

Zack: Wow. How can I ever repay you.

Zordon: DO I DETECT SARCASM?

Zack: Oh, yeah.

Zordon: TRINI, UNATTRACTIVE, AND IGNORED, YOU WILL COMMAND THE SABRE-TOOTHED TIGER.

Trini: Unattractive?

Zordon: KIMBERLY, DITZY, STUPID, AND UNABLE TO SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT USING THE WORD LIKE, YOU WILL COMMAND THE PTERODACTYL.

Kimberly: Like... I don’t get it.

Zordon: OH, AND BILLY, NERDY AND UN-COORDINATED, YOU SHALL COMMAND THE TRICERATOPS- IF IT WILL COME TO A NERD.... ANYWHO.. WHEN YOU NEED TO MORPH, HOLD UP YOUR MORPHERS AND SAY THE NAME OF YOUR DINOSAUR...

Trini: Mine’s a cat.

Zack: Yeah! Mine’s an elephant!

Alpha: Well you get the IDEA!!!

Zack: Don’t you get smart with me you little bucket of bolts!

Alpha: What???

Jason: Let’s book!

The teens walk back to Angel Grove.

Trini: What a gyp! They could have at least teleported us back into town!!

They are attacked by a bunch of putties.

Trini: OH NO!

A putty runs up to her, smacks her in the face, and runs off. Her friends laugh.

A bunch of putties gather around Billy and start shoving him around in a circle.

A few putties come up to Kimberly, pick her up and then toss her into a rock.

Kimberly: Like, OW!

********

Alpha : Oh, Zordon! The Rangers are getting the stuffings beaten out of them! Why won’t they morph? AYE YI YI!!

Zordon: SHUT UP, ALPHA! I CAN SEE THAT! BUT WAIT A WHILE- BESIDES, I AM KIND OF ENJOYING THIS....

*********

One putty holds up a sign that says "Mosh Pit" about 50 other putties run/flip over and start slamming into Billy.

Billy can barely be seen or heard. Even though he is screaming at the top of his lungs it sounds like a whisper.

Billy: Guys help!

Zack: Ya’ll hear sumfin’?

Jason: No. Shut up and fight!

Trini is being held by two putties. 17 of them form a line, and one by one, they run up and smack Trini.

Trini: Guys! (Smack!) OOF! Help! Ple- (SMACK!!) Ow, I felt that one! Please, help!

Jason is surrounded by putties. They all rush in and kick/punch him.

Jason: AAAAA! OOO! STOP! AAAA! OW!!

Zack tries to dance and fight at the same time.

Zack: Oh, yeah! Who’s the man? Who- (Kick) (PUNCH) OW! Who’s the maan? 10 putties get him wedged between two rocks, and they pound away at him.

Kimberly: A little help here, guys!! (23 putties run in and Kimberly can’t be seen) AAAAAAAAA! MOVE YOU UGLY.. GREY....THINGS!!

After 1 hour and 55 minutes of this they toss the teens into a corner.

Jason : Hey what about these little babies?

Zack: Those plastic thangs that head gave us?

Jason: Yeah! I say we use em!

Trini : Nah.

Billy: Negative.

Kimberly: Don’t think so...

Zack: No way.

Jason: Do it or I’ll kick your butts!

All: OK! LET’S MORPH!

Zack: I wanna go first! MASTADON!

Kimberly: PTERODACTYL!

Billy: TRICERATOPS!

Trini: SABRE - TOOTHED TIGER!

Jason: TYRANNOSAURUS!

Five power rangers stand there.

Yellow: That head was right!

They do unbelievable flips, kicks, punches, slaps, smacks, backflips, etc. and beat the putties.

Red: Lets go thank that head!

Pink and Black: Au, man!

Yellow: SIGH! OK!OK!

Blue: Affirmative.

They stare at the blue ranger, shake their heads, then teleport to the command center.

******

Alpha: Oh, Zordon! They did it! They finally morphed!

Zordon: Yeah, Yeah....

The rangers teleport in.

Alpha: What the- Oh, it’s just you guys.

Yellow: Gee, thanks.

They all take off their helmets but stay in their costumes.

Jason: Thanks for the awesome powers!!

Kimberly: Awesome?

Zordon: YEP! I TOLD YOU. ANYWAY, WILL YOU ALL CHOSE TO BE RANGERS?

Zack: I don’t think so. The pants are way too tight.

Kimberly: -And my hair gets all messed up in that helmet...

Alpha: Then we’ll just have to kill you...

Zack: No- I... I can live with the pants!

Kimberly: Hair can always get fixed.....

Alpha: I thought so..

Zordon: NOW, GO BACK INTO TOWN AND... STUDY OR SOMETHING UNTILL YOU ARE NEEDE TO MORPH OR.. SOMETHING.

They all power down.

Billy: Oh, here’s everyone’s homework. I did it while those putties had me in that mosh pit.

Jason: Not bad, nerd.

Billy: Aw, shucks...

They teleport back into town.

**********

A woman with her hair in two cones and a raspy/ gravely voice that could make any human want to gag stands on a balcony with a wand in her hand screaming. She is surrounded by a gold monkey, a blue ape a tall dark blue monkey with bones for wings, and an elf that makes monsters for Rita.

Rita: NO! Zordon’s got rangers, now!

Goldar: Let me take ‘em!

Rita: Well..., take some putties and get those power- punks!

Goldar: Yes, my Queen!!

***********

Jason is lifting weights.

Jason: URGH! TEN! URGH! ELEVEN!

Zack is trying to dance. A girl walks by.

Zack: Hey, baby! Watch this (Spins into a table) WOAH! AAA!

Kimberly is doing gymnastics on the balancing beam. She slips and hits her head. She falls helplessly to the ground.

Trini is practicing her martial arts. She does some hand movements, but ends up smacking herself in the head.

Billy is sipping a soda, but accidentally spills it on himself.

Billy: Oh, rats! That’s the 4th shirt this week.

Other students walk by pointing and laughing. Billy runs away crying.

A fat guy named Bulk and a skinny/ pretzel-stick guy named Skull walk in. This loud, wacky tuba music starts playing in the background. (This happens every time we see these two.)

By now, Billy, Trini, Zack, and Kimberly are clustered together drinking Surge.

Bulk and Skull over up to them.

Bulk: What are you beauties doin’ hangin’ ‘round those losers, when you can be hanging out with us?

Skull: What he said.

Zack(Almost crying): I ain’t no ... loser, man. Take it back! WAAA! Take... it.. back...

Bulk: Anyway, how’s about a date, babes?

Trini: Shall we?

Kimberly: Let’s

They then proceed to beat up Bulk and Skull tossing them around like paper dolls.

After 5 minutes of this they ram Bulk and Skull’s heads through the windows of the juice bar, then kick them through the walls.

Ernie: *BUUUUUURRRRPP!! * You’ll have to pay for that ya know!

Trini: Shut up or we’ll do the same to you!!

********

Zordon: WHY CAN’T THEY DO THAT TO PUTTIES?

********

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Billy: Our communicators!

Jason: 5,299,000! Arrgh! 5,299,00... what comes after 5,299,000?

Zack: Come on, stupid! Zordon wants us!

Trini pushes a button on her communicator.

Trini: Go ahead, Zordon.

Zordon: THERE IS TROUBLE IN THE PARK! RITA IS ATTACKING!!

Kimberly: Like, who?

Zack: Let’s just go! ( They teleport to the park)

Instantly they are in the park.

Kimberly: Like, I love doing that!

Instantly, they are also surrounded by putties.

Jason( At the top of his lungs): IT'S MORPHIN’ TIME!!

The putties clutch their ears.

Zack: MASTEDON!

Kimberly: PTERODACTYL!

Billy: TRICERATOPS!

Trini: SABRE-TOOTHED TIGER!

Jason: TYRANNOSAURUS!

Everyone strikes a pose and screams "HI-YAH!"

Goldar: It’s about time!

Red: Shut up, freak!

Goldar: Wha- Frea- ME? WHY I- ...

Red: Let’s fight!

Goldar: Fine with me.( He pulls a sword out of his gold armor.)

Red: Um... We don’t have any... weapons... yet...

******

Zordon: DOH! ALPHA ! WHY DIDN’T YOU REMIND ME? GET YOUR METALLIC BUTT DOWN THERE AND TELL THEM WHAT WEAPONS THEY HAVE!

Alpha: Why must I do everything? You’re just a... head in a jar...

Zordon: SHUT UP AND GET DOWN THERE OR I’LL SEND YOU TO THE SCRAP HEAP, YOU CLATTERING COLLECTION OF JUNK!

Alpha: This bites! (He teleports to the park)

*********

Alpha: OK, you delinquents. Listen up! Kimberly, stupid and gullible, your weapon is the Imbecilic Bow. Trini, silent, annoying, and a goody-two-shoes, your weapons are the Vexatious Daggers. Zack, moronic and only concerned about how you look, you weapon is the Vanity Axe. Billy, un-cool, un-popular, and rather irritating and weak, your weapon is the Puny Lance. Jason, rather primitive, always ignoring others, and bull-headed, your weapon is the Omitting Sword. OK. BYE! ( Alpha teleports away).

Blue: Must he always be so demoralizing?

Yellow: Must he always be so de- grading?

Pink: Um.... We still have putties and that gold rat to deal with.

Black: Let’s kick BUTT!

23 putties run towards the Blue ranger. He does a really high flip, and kicks one in the mouth.

Blue: Puny Lance!

Yellow: Vexatious Daggers!

Pink: Imbecelic Bow!

Black: Vanity Axe!

Red: Omitting Sword!

Goldar: Hmmm... Pretty cool.

Red: Shut up!!( Runs up to Goldar and there’s this really big sword fight between both of them.

Meanwhile the others are beating the putties.

Yellow: This is so cool! GIRL POWER!!!!

Pink: Like, YEAH! Awesome!!

Black: I’ll teach you to mess with me, ya gray... what-ya-ma-call-its! Feel the power of my Axe! I’ll chop ya’ll ta bits! I’ll- (Black Ranger’s scene is cut short)

Blue: My Puny Lance will obliterate you, ignoramus simpletons!

All of a sudden, the fighting stops, and everyone looks at The Yellow Ranger.

Yellow: He said his lance is gonna tear you dolts into shreds.

All: OOOO.( Fighting Resumes)

After beating the putties, the rangers turn to Goldar. The Red ranger in clutching his chest from where he’d been hit.

Black: Freeze, Goldie-locks! You hurt my homeboy! Now you’ll pay.

Blue: No, I’m fine. I’m flattered that you’d regard me as your homeboy...

Black: Shut up, William.

Pink: Willy, he was talking about Jason. JASON is his homeboy.

Blue: By the way, my friends call me Billy.

Pink: I’ll try to remember that, Willy.

Red: This Gold Monkey is tough!

Yellow: Maybe if we combine our weapons, we could beat him!

Red: Hey! I know! Maybe if we combine our weapons, we could beat him!

All(Except Yellow): Great idea, Red! YEAH!

Yellow: But.... I said that.

Black: Sorry, I didn’t hear you. We only listen to you when we need you to translate something William, here says.

Pink(Shocked): SHE TALKS?

Blue: Stop your infernal chit-chat and let’s combine our weapons!

Red: I’m pretty sure that was in insult.

Pink: I’m just plain pretty.

Black: Remind me to beat up Willy and Jason later on.

Yellow: Yeah- for now, let’s finish this gold monkey.

Pink: Yeah- for now, let’s finish this gold monkey!

Yellow: Why do I even bother?

Goldar: I’m waaaaiiiting.......

Red: Sorry. We’ll hurry up and finish you off you-

Blue: - Golden, Anthropoid ape!

Red: You cuttin’ me off, nerd?! After Zack finishes beating us up, I’m gonna re-beat you up!! Now, everybody throw your weapon into the air as you scream it’s name, then I’ll float in the air and put my Omitting Sword on top.

Black: VANITY AXE!!

Pink: IMBECILIC BOW!!

Blue: PUNY LANCE!!

Yellow: VEXATIOUS DAGGERS!!

Red: Omitting Sword!!

All: FIRE!

Goldar is hit by a powerful concentrated beam of energy, causing him to scream, and writhe in pain.

Black: COOL!! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!

Despite Goldar’s feeble cries and pleas, the Rangers fire again.

All: FIRE! FIRE!! FIRE!!! FIRE!!!! FIRE!!!!! FIRE!!!!!! FIRE!!! FIRE!!!!! FIRE!!! FIRE!!!

Goldar: AAAA! NO! PLEASE!!! Oh, MAN!! This isn’t gonna look good on my report!

*********

Rita: GOLDAR! GET YOUR GOLD BUTT BACK HERE, NOW!!!!!

Baboo: I think she’s mad!

Squatt: Me too!

Rita: SHUT UP!!!! (Zaps them with her magical wand)

Baboo: AW, man! AAAAAAA!

Squatt: NOOOOOOO!!!

Goldar teleports back to the moon palace of Rita Repulsa.

****************

The rangers are celebrating in the command center.

Red: WE ROCK!

Blue: We’re cool!

Pink: FOUR of us are.

Blue: Hey! Zack’s pretty cool! You apologize to him!

(Zack punches him in the arm.)

They all power down, with Billy embracing his arm

Billy: OOO! I think it’s broken!

Zordon: BILLY, STOP YOUR INSIGNIFICANT WHINING! ANYWAY, YOU HAVE MADE ME PROUD. YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELVES TO BE TRUE RANGERS!

Jason: WOW, THANKS!!!!

Zack: Whoopti- doo.

Kimberly: Like, yea.

Trini: Gee.

Billy: Allright.

Jason: You know what we have to do, now!

Alpha: I think I’m gonna HURL!

The others roll their eyes and moan.

Trini: Do we have to?

Jason: Huh?

All(Clasp hands and jump into the air): POWER RANGERS!

(Music Plays, and the scene gets paused)

** Next Time, on Power Rangers: Kimberly goes shopping! And, Billy tries harder to be cool!**----------